Women are notorious for being labeled as “nags” (though I’ll bet there are a few men out there who’ve been called the same). I’m sure I speak for all women when I say how much we hate it! Fortunately, I’ve only been called a nag a couple times. and my response was to blame the man who called me that, thinking if only he would get off his lazy ass and do his share, I wouldn’t have to nag!
And you know, there was definitely some truth to that. But as I’ve gotten older and … ahem, wiser, I’ve found that there’s usually some truth in what people point out to us about ourselves as well. I’ve also learned that our internal world creates out external world, and so from looking at it from that perspective, I’ve been able to ask myself “what’s nagging me?” Not who’s nagging, but what’s nagging inside me that I’m ignoring, and so is showing up on the outside as me being a nag?
As it turned out, that was exactly the question I needed to ask. What was nagging me? The dreams I had for myself that I was ignoring. Knowing I could do more with my life than I was giving myself credit for. Knowing I deserved better in my relationship. It was also true that my partner at the time needed to get off his lazy bum! But what was I doing in a relationship that was not serving me as the mutually loving & supportive relationship that I desired and was capable of?!
And so I got out. And I followed my head & my heart. I followed my dreams and demanded more for myself and from the people in my life. (Although the truth here is that when I demanded more from myself, I didn’t actually have to “demand” more from others, I just got it!)
So to those of you out there who’ve ever been called a nag, ask yourself honestly what’s nagging inside you? How can you fulfill yourself more? What dreams are still inside waiting to be expressed? When you put your own internal nag to rest, I guarantee you’ll have a lot less to nag about!